Another European month is in the books. My responsibilities at work are winding down which is creating more time for me to travel and enjoy my remaining time in Western Europe. I’ve been hopping flights, catching trains, auto-bahn driving, pounding youth hostels, screaming through pub crawls, eating Euro, drinking Euro, not working out, not stressing out and not sitting still. I got a hair cut so I can spike my hair. I go into work late and leave earlier than my first 5 months. If it weren't so cold now I would start wearing a Hawaiian shirt.
So, lets start off with Venlo. I will certainly miss many of the great people but it is time to leave. Nothing much changes. Bars are the same every week. It took me a long time (4 months) to make some decent friends but I am no longer willing to spend my weekends drinking in the same pubs until 4am. I have gleaned a lot from the small town atmosphere and relationships but I want to see more.
First stop was a “non-work” related trip to the UK. I hopped a super cheap flight to Edinburgh packed in only a small “rucksack” as the brits would call it. Upon arrival, I was immediately struck by the architectural beauty of the city. Everything is old, substantial and imposing. Edinburg castle looms over the city with authority and majesty. I spent night 1 walking the streets and learning to take night snap shots with my point and shoot camera. The city is really nice at night. I hit pretty much every interesting scotch whisky bar topped off my scotch warmed belly with a nice serving of Haggis. I turned into my hostel around 2:30am and awoke around 8AM. Let me take a moment to tell you how much America is missing out on the whole hostel scene. They are truly a wonderful thing. If all you use a room for is to sleep and shower, a hostel is all you need. They usually have small dorms of 4-8 beds with a self contained bath and shower. You have a locker to stow your things and opportunities to meet lots of people. Ear plugs are all one needs to sleep like a baby. The staff are always informative and more helpful than your normal concierge. All of this for around $20-30 per night…that leaves a lot more cash for whisky!
Back to Scotland. Day two I booked a northern Scotland tour to see the country, tour a distillery and catch some of the smaller towns. It was a 9 hour round trip for $60 on a 12 person mini-bus. It was well worth it. Lots of nice pics and the guide pointed me towards one of the best bacon sandwiches in the world. The tour concluded around 7PM and I was prepared to find a night time Edinburgh Ghost Tour on the Royal Mile which is the main old town drag leading up to the castle. I was wandering up to the mile looking for the tours when I see a youngish girl holding a sign outside of a pub. I check her out and then her sign. It says, “Pub Crawl Starts Here…..NOW!”. I said to myself….”Self, are you a mouse or a man?” Self replied “Fuck off, of course I am doing this pub crawl.” So It began with me quickly chatting up the group of girls loitering around the sign girl. 12 pounds bought me into the crawl, a drink at each bar and entrance into the club at the end of the tour. I was soon enveloped in a diverse crowd of mostly younger folks from Spain, Lithuania, France, England, Poland, Norway and Ireland. We did beers, shooters, bombs and test tubes. The night was going well. By bar number 4, things were getting saucy. It was called Frankensteins and with Halloween so close there were lots of costumes and people getting silly. It became harder to keep the group together wandering the narrow streets, steep alleys and many turns. We finally end at the “club” of the night. I am immediately met by a distinctive aroma at the entrance. Yes, that’s right…the aroma that tells you this is a place young people come to make mistakes…the unmistakable scent of vomit. We are all now dancing, drinking more and the girls are starting to get frisky. I had been hanging out with the couple from Lithuania. The guy was like 6’-10” who I called Lindo and the girl was named Ramona. They were fun. He was pretty entertaining and was doing a nice job dancing up with the group but leaving his girl looking a little lonely. So, I took her in hand…a friendly hand of course and tried to get her into the scene. Chemistry is a strange thing. It is hard to explain it until you are in the equation. We had some pretty nice dance floor chemistry because things were getting “hot” and fast…the Jager bombs helped as well. Eventually she realized she had a boyfriend at which point she went back to get him involved and next thing I know they are fighting..ahhahahhahah…yeah, that’s how it goes. So, I said good night to my other 19 year old friends and hit the road on the lookout for another late night Whisky bar for a final night cap.
The following day I rolled out of the bunk at 10AM, found my way to a café called the Elephant House where J.K. Rowling developed most of the Harry Potter series. I had another bacon sandwich, some fresh squeezed OJ and a nice coffee. I still had to wander the residential streets, see the castle, tour the royal yact and do the ghost tour that night, the next day I was to catch the train to London.
All of that worked out great. Learning the busses is a must while travelling. Super cheap way to get around and a good way to see the city as well. I took lots of great pics..you know touristy things you have to do. I got a nice picture with a braveheart Mel Gibson look alike. Ghost tour was awesome. Found some local pubs. I negotiated the terms of my next promotion from a heavy metal whisky bar called the “Black Bull”. I kept track of my Whisky and the total was 261 years of whisky down the hatch. My favorite is the Glen Morangie Original 10 year. That wrapped up Scotland.
The train was 5 hours to Kings Cross station. I had a dinner date with two girls I knew from my previous trip to South America two years ago. I checked into another classy hostel full up with people half my age…fine by me, it was cheap. We had a nice dinner and Annabel arranged to give me a private tour of the houses of parliament where she works….score. I spent the rest of the night wandering the city, seeing almost all of the famous sights with no traffic and the city illuminated by very nice Euro lighting. I enjoyed a nice Shepherd pie but the worst part was that I was looking forward to a nice English pub around 1AM near my hostel. It was a Sunday. I walked and walked and all of the pubs that earlier were lively now seemed to be closed. So, I resigned my self to finding a to go store and grabbing some brews to share back at the hostel. The store keep informed me that there are no booze sales after 11PM in the Borough of Westminster….bummer of a borough. Nighty night for me. My final day was spent up early, into a café for an English Breakfast, walking along the Thames, doing the tour of parliament and seeing lots of old shit. London was nice. I could live there. Girls were decent looking. City was pretty and not too chaotic. They have some nice art too.
So that was the UK trip….pretty sweet. I am running out of steam tonight so I am going to wrap this up. Last weekend was spent in Cologne which is just a 1 hour drive from me. It was a fantastic German city. I have come to really respect the Germans. Both from my work and social experiences they are good people with good work ethics, smart ideas and live cleanly. On my drive home I documented with my iPhone camera the speedometer of my Renalut doing 181 Km/hr on the auto-bahn (112 mph)..which is about all she had…and that was downhill. Yes, I had one hand on the wheel, AC/DC playing on the radio and I think I yelled a yeeehaaaaw.
This weekend, I am going to do a road trip through Holland, down the coast to France and circle through Belgium to check out some WWII historical sights. The following weekend is Copenhagen, then I am off to Norway for a week for Work which takes me into my final weekend. My boss has some big surprise planned for my last Saturday for which he said I need to be available from 4PM Saturday and shouldn’t plan on doing anything on Sunday as well….this has me curious and I can’t get anyone at work to spill the beans.
I am looking forward to getting home. I have picked up a few vices that I may bring along. Including a new found love of scotch Whisky, Chocolate and Cheese….yeah…its that’s good. I will be departing Holland on November 17, heading to DC where I am doing this: www.startupweekend.com the 18-20, then its family week till the 25 or 26 when I will fly back to Tahoe. It is going to be ski season and I am looking forward to snowshoes, skis, snowboards and après ski.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
The Wolf
As many of you know and "experienced". I was back East Coast last week. About a dozen people asked me. "What do you do anyway?". I awoke from a hangover induced sleep on the plane home with one line in my head. "I'm Winston Wolf. I solve Problems." I've worked for two companies helping to fix 8 businesses over 10 years. I solve problems. So I took the Pulp Fiction cue, heavily plagiarized and developed my screenplay below. I took absolutely no liberties. This story is exactly as it happens for me. For those interested in the scene from the movie. Watch it here: My story ends at about 10:00.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DO0d7dpA-K8
BEGIN SCREENPLAY: THE WOLF
INTERIOR. WARREN BUFFET’S (Marcellus Wallace) DINING ROOM – MORNING
Warren Buffet (Marcellus Wallace) sits at his dining table in a big comfy
robe, eating his large breakfast, while talking on the phone.
BUFFET
...well, say Wall Street finds out. Whaddya think they'll do?
(pause)
No fuckin' shit they'll freak. That ain't no kinda answer.
INTERIOR. CUSTOMER SITE – MORNING
Jules paces around in the General Managers office on the phone.
JULES
You got to appreciate what an explosive situation this is. If Wall Street figures out we have a bunch of idiots doin' a bunch of moronic shit in this factory, ain't no tellin' what the bitches are apt to do.
BUFFET
I've grasped that, Jules. All I'm doin' is contemplating the "ifs."
JULES
I don't wanna hear about no motherfuckin' "ifs."What I wanna hear from your ass is: "you ain't got no problems, Jules. I'm on the motherfucker. Go back in there, chill them white boys out and wait for the cavalry, which should be comin' directly."
BUFFET
You ain't got no problems, Jules. I'm on the motherfucker. Go back in there, chill them white boys out and wait for The Wolf, who should be comin' directly.
JULES
You sendin' The Wolf?
BUFFET
Feel better?
JULES
Shit Cracker, that's all you had to say.
INTERIOR. APRES SKI LOUNGE – MORNING
The CAMERA looks through the front doorway of a Squaw Valley après ski hot spot. We SEE a group of popped collar spring breakers shooting Jager bombs from crystal goblets. A man in a tuxedo leans on the bar ordering a scotch whiskey on the rocks while stroking the mink fur coat of his immaculate arm candy of a girlfriend. The CAMERA PANS to the right revealing:
Sitting in an Adirondack chair on the deck, phone in hand with his back to us, the vintage 80’s jumpsuit clad Pierce Plumly aka "THE WOLF". We also see The Wolf has a small book that he jots details in.
THE WOLF
(into phone)
Is this front page stuff?
(pause)
How long?
(jotting down)
Give me the principals' names again?
(jots down)
Jules...
We SEE his book. The page has written on it:
"Venlo, The Netherlands” 1 dying business (no head)
Bloody shot-up manager Jules (White Boy)
6 months (Audit)"
THE WOLF
...Vincent... Jimmie... Bonnie….
HE WRITES:
"Jimmy(CEO) Jules(GM) Vincent(VP) Micro Chips R Us (Company) Bonnie (auditor)"
THE WOLF
Expect a call around 10:30. It's about 14 hours away. I'll be there in five.
He hangs up. We never see his face but assume he has sideburns and is wearing aviator sun glasses.
CUT TO:
TITLE CARD OVER BLACK: "FOUR HOURS AND THIRTY-SEVEN MINUTES LATER"
CUT TO:
EXTERIOR. MICRO CHIPS R’ US STREET – MORNING
A White Fj Cruiser WHIPS the corner leading to Micro Chips R Us,
in OVER DRIVE. Its 33” tires jumping the curb and parking half way up the stairs to the front entrance.
INTERIOR. MICRO CHIPS R’ US – MORNING
Jimmie opens the door. We see, standing in the doorway, the now Jeans and t-shirt clad man. He peers through his aviators down to his notebook, then up at Jimmie.
THE WOLF
You're Jimmie, right? This is your company?
JIMMIE
Yeah.
THE WOLF
(sticks his hand out)
I'm Pierce Plumly, I solve problems.
JIMMIE
Good, 'cause we got some.
THE WOLF
So I heard. May I come in?
JIMMIE
Please do.
In the reception area, Jules and Vincent stand up.
THE WOLF
You must be Jules, which would make you Vincent. Let's get down to brass tacks, gentlemen. If I was informed correctly, the clock is ticking, is
that right, Jimmie?
JIMMIE
100%.
THE WOLF
The auditor, Bonnie...
(refers to his pad)
...arrives in six months, is that correct?
JIMMIE
Uh-huh.
THE WOLF
I was led to believe if she arrives and finds this fuck hole of a company she wouldn't appreciate it none too much.
JIMMIE
She won't at that.
THE WOLF
That gives us 180 days to get this out house looking like a throne fit for Marilyn Monroe, which, if you do what I say when I say it, should be plenty. Now you got defects, falling profits, low moral, shitty productivity and are crapping out customers faster than Michael Moore can eat a 12” kielbasa. Am I right? Jimmie?
JIMMIE
You’re the Wolf.
INTERIOR: JIMMIE'S OFFICE – MORNING
The three men hang back as The Wolf examines the books. He studies them in silence, flipping pages, stabbing a calculator, circling numbers.
THE WOLF
Jimmie?
JIMMIE
Yes.
THE WOLF: WITHOUT LOOKING UP
Do me a favor, will ya? Thought I smelled some coffee in there. Would you make me a cup?
JIMMIE
Sure, how do you take it?
THE WOLF
Black, and don’t give me that flavored shit.
Jimmie exits. The Wolf continues his examination.
THE WOLF
About the company, is there anything I need to know? Does it pollute, are the books clean, any pending lawsuits, any PR problems, anything?
JULES
Aside from how it looks, the company’s cool.
THE WOLF: NOW PEERING OVER HIS GLASSES
Positive? Don't get me knee deep when I find out the CFO is porking the Purchasing manager. Shit won’t fly.
JULES
Hey man, as far as I know, the motherfucker's tip-top.
THE WOLF
Good enough, let's go to the boardroom.
INTERIOR: BOARDROOM – MORNING
Jimmie hands The Wolf a cup of coffee.
THE WOLF
Thank you, Jimmie.
He takes a sip, nods to Jimmie in satisfaction then, pacing as he thinks, lays out for the three men the plan of action.
THE WOLF
Okay first thing, you two.
(meaning Jules and Vincent)
Take a look at those defects. Root cause that shit, rework whats easy, throw the rest in the can. Now Jimmie, this looks to be a pretty underutilized company. That would lead me to believe that you have some smart and motivated people that you have been crapping on for years. Am I correct?
JIMMIE
Yeah. Exactly. They are all in hourly positions or temps without benefits.
THE WOLF
Good. What I need you two fellas to do is take those smart people and give me a few kaizen events and lean sigma projects. I'm talkin' fast, fast, fast. You need to go to the 6th sigma. Scoop up all those little defects. Get them out of there. 5S the entire shop floor. – now when it comes to 5S, it don't need to be 5.0, you don't need to be O’Ren Ishii on it. Give it a good once over. What you need to take care of are the really messy parts. The piles of inventory that have collected, you gotta minimize that WIP. But the productivity is a different story. This is where you really gotta make it count. Daddy don’t get paid by increasing costs with window dressings and rose bushes out front. You dig deep. Cut deep where it makes sense. Get the rapid action teams out there. Use some Kanbans, do some flow charting find the waste and trim that shit. Lean it out, do a good job. Now Jimmie, we need to raid your office supplies. I need flip charts, I need high lighters, I need pocket protectors, I need some glasses. The thicker the better, the darker the better. No Ray Bans, can't use 'em. I am talking some Tom Cruise type shit. We need to look good while we work. We’re gonna fix this company. If an auditor stops us and starts stickin' her big snout in the books, the subterfuge won't last. We can’t cover the past but at a glance, the company will appear to have been operating at world class performance for years.
Jimmie – lead the way, boys – get to work.
The Wolf and Jimmie turn, heading for the office, leaving Vincent and Jules standing in the boardroom.
VINCENT
(calling after him)
A "please" would be nice.
The Wolf stops and turns around. Removes his glasses.
THE WOLF
Come again?
VINCENT
I said a "please" would be nice.
The Wolf takes a step toward him.
THE WOLF
Get this straight, Buster. I'm not here to say "please."I'm here to tell you what to do. And if self- preservation is an instinct you possess, you better fuckin' do it and do it quick. I'm here to help. If my help's not appreciated, lotsa luck gentlemen.
JULES
It ain't that way, Mr. Wolf. Your help is definitely appreciated.
VINCENT
I don't mean any disrespect. I just don't like people barkin' orders at me.
THE WOLF
If I'm curt with you, it's because time is a factor. I think fast, I talk fast, and I need you guys to act fast if you want to get out of this. So pretty please, with sugar on top, fix the fuckin' company.
INTERIOR: JIMMIE'S OFFICE
Jimmie's gathering all the spreadsheets, flip charts, sticky pads and laser pointers he can find.
Jimmie comes over with an armful of useless color graphics.
JIMMIE
Mr. Wolf, you gotta understand somethin' –
THE WOLF
– Pierce, Jimmie – please, call me Pierce.
JIMMIE
You gotta understand something, Pierce. I want to help you guys out and all, but I have a vacation planned next week. I am going to the beach where I’ll pretend like I know how to play golf, get sunburned and have to be rescued from the rip tide by a burly 18 year old life guard who will flirt with my wife.
THE WOLF
– let me ask you a question, if you don't mind?
JIMMIE
Sure.
THE WOLF
Are you or your wife millionaires?
JIMMIE
No.
THE WOLF
Well, your Uncle Buffet is. And I'm positive if Mr. and Mrs. Jimmy can make this happen, your Uncle Buffet is more than happy to buy you one of the Greek Isles….its like a fire sale over there.
(takes out a roll of bills)
I like Crete myself, that's what I’m talking about. How 'bout you Jimmie, you a Crete man?
JIMMIE
Crete's nice.
INTERIOR: FACTORY FLOOR – 5 MONTHS LATER
The defects have been root caused, 5S is prevalent, continuous improvement is part of the culture, moral is up and the bathrooms have nice smelling soap, 2 ply paper and real hand towels. Believe it or not, what looked like a bargain basement hostile takeover target will now actually pass for a non-descript world class operation.
The Wolf walks the factory examining it.
Jules and Vincent stand aside, they look tired and worn, but they do have a sense of pride in what a good job they've done.
THE WOLF
Fine job, gentlemen. We may get out of this yet.
JIMMIE
I can't believe this is the same company.
THE WOLF
Well, let's not start suckin' each other's dicks quite yet. Phase one is complete, clean the company, which moves us right along to phase two, clean you two.
INTERIOR: MICRO CHIPS R’ US CAFETERIA – LUNCH HOUR
Jules and Vincent sit side by side nervous and uncomfortable amongst the “hourly”. They wear standard issue business jackets, white collar shirts, red ties and khaki pants. Jimmie holds a plastic hefty trash bag, while The Wolf stares down at the men. His glare piercing their arrogance.
THE WOLF
Strip.
VINCENT
Here? All the way?
THE WOLF
To your bare ass.
As they follow directions, The Wolf enjoys a swig of Jim Beam from a small flask.
THE WOLF
Quickly gentlemen, we got about fifteen minutes before lunch is over.
VINCENT
This aint what it looks like. I’m big boned.
JULES
Are you sure this is absolutely necessary?
THE WOLF
You know what you two look like?
VINCENT
What?
THE WOLF
Like a couple of pompous ass holes who nearly murdered a company. Yes, strippin' off those high faluttin’ rags is absolutely necessary. Toss the clothes in Jim's garbage bag.
VINCENT
Shits not cool man.
THE WOLF
I’ll tell you whats not cool. Putting yourself above the people in this company who really ring the cash register. Don’t give me this “cool” bull shit. You are not cool. You are here to serve these people who “do” the work. Listen to them, support them, know the jobs, know the people. Find freedom. Make love to your wife. Now, put these on. Jimmie.
Jimmie quickly hands the men some smart casual finished jeans, clean yet humble long sleeve, collared shirts with none of that flowery shit and simple yet classy black leather shoes.
THE WOLF
Okay gentlemen, the company is yours. My work here is done. Don’t fuck it up. The Wolf only visits once.
The Three men watch the wolf back off the steps in his FJ Cruiser and slowly drive away. A single bumper sticker is visible in blue and white letters. “AMERICA. FUCK YEAH!”
EXTERIOR: HISTORIC BAVARIAN CASTLE
The Wolf is opening the passenger side door of his FJ Cruiser. A long slender pair of legs clad in modest heels slowly emerge. They gain purchase on the ground and she appears in a spire of moonlight, spins toward him and places her left hand on the right lapel of his Tuxedo.
GERMAN HOTTIE – In sexy yet broken German accented English.
So what exactly do you do here?
THE WOLF
Babe, they call me the Wolf. Lets party.
END SCENE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DO0d7dpA-K8
BEGIN SCREENPLAY: THE WOLF
INTERIOR. WARREN BUFFET’S (Marcellus Wallace) DINING ROOM – MORNING
Warren Buffet (Marcellus Wallace) sits at his dining table in a big comfy
robe, eating his large breakfast, while talking on the phone.
BUFFET
...well, say Wall Street finds out. Whaddya think they'll do?
(pause)
No fuckin' shit they'll freak. That ain't no kinda answer.
INTERIOR. CUSTOMER SITE – MORNING
Jules paces around in the General Managers office on the phone.
JULES
You got to appreciate what an explosive situation this is. If Wall Street figures out we have a bunch of idiots doin' a bunch of moronic shit in this factory, ain't no tellin' what the bitches are apt to do.
BUFFET
I've grasped that, Jules. All I'm doin' is contemplating the "ifs."
JULES
I don't wanna hear about no motherfuckin' "ifs."What I wanna hear from your ass is: "you ain't got no problems, Jules. I'm on the motherfucker. Go back in there, chill them white boys out and wait for the cavalry, which should be comin' directly."
BUFFET
You ain't got no problems, Jules. I'm on the motherfucker. Go back in there, chill them white boys out and wait for The Wolf, who should be comin' directly.
JULES
You sendin' The Wolf?
BUFFET
Feel better?
JULES
Shit Cracker, that's all you had to say.
INTERIOR. APRES SKI LOUNGE – MORNING
The CAMERA looks through the front doorway of a Squaw Valley après ski hot spot. We SEE a group of popped collar spring breakers shooting Jager bombs from crystal goblets. A man in a tuxedo leans on the bar ordering a scotch whiskey on the rocks while stroking the mink fur coat of his immaculate arm candy of a girlfriend. The CAMERA PANS to the right revealing:
Sitting in an Adirondack chair on the deck, phone in hand with his back to us, the vintage 80’s jumpsuit clad Pierce Plumly aka "THE WOLF". We also see The Wolf has a small book that he jots details in.
THE WOLF
(into phone)
Is this front page stuff?
(pause)
How long?
(jotting down)
Give me the principals' names again?
(jots down)
Jules...
We SEE his book. The page has written on it:
"Venlo, The Netherlands” 1 dying business (no head)
Bloody shot-up manager Jules (White Boy)
6 months (Audit)"
THE WOLF
...Vincent... Jimmie... Bonnie….
HE WRITES:
"Jimmy(CEO) Jules(GM) Vincent(VP) Micro Chips R Us (Company) Bonnie (auditor)"
THE WOLF
Expect a call around 10:30. It's about 14 hours away. I'll be there in five.
He hangs up. We never see his face but assume he has sideburns and is wearing aviator sun glasses.
CUT TO:
TITLE CARD OVER BLACK: "FOUR HOURS AND THIRTY-SEVEN MINUTES LATER"
CUT TO:
EXTERIOR. MICRO CHIPS R’ US STREET – MORNING
A White Fj Cruiser WHIPS the corner leading to Micro Chips R Us,
in OVER DRIVE. Its 33” tires jumping the curb and parking half way up the stairs to the front entrance.
INTERIOR. MICRO CHIPS R’ US – MORNING
Jimmie opens the door. We see, standing in the doorway, the now Jeans and t-shirt clad man. He peers through his aviators down to his notebook, then up at Jimmie.
THE WOLF
You're Jimmie, right? This is your company?
JIMMIE
Yeah.
THE WOLF
(sticks his hand out)
I'm Pierce Plumly, I solve problems.
JIMMIE
Good, 'cause we got some.
THE WOLF
So I heard. May I come in?
JIMMIE
Please do.
In the reception area, Jules and Vincent stand up.
THE WOLF
You must be Jules, which would make you Vincent. Let's get down to brass tacks, gentlemen. If I was informed correctly, the clock is ticking, is
that right, Jimmie?
JIMMIE
100%.
THE WOLF
The auditor, Bonnie...
(refers to his pad)
...arrives in six months, is that correct?
JIMMIE
Uh-huh.
THE WOLF
I was led to believe if she arrives and finds this fuck hole of a company she wouldn't appreciate it none too much.
JIMMIE
She won't at that.
THE WOLF
That gives us 180 days to get this out house looking like a throne fit for Marilyn Monroe, which, if you do what I say when I say it, should be plenty. Now you got defects, falling profits, low moral, shitty productivity and are crapping out customers faster than Michael Moore can eat a 12” kielbasa. Am I right? Jimmie?
JIMMIE
You’re the Wolf.
INTERIOR: JIMMIE'S OFFICE – MORNING
The three men hang back as The Wolf examines the books. He studies them in silence, flipping pages, stabbing a calculator, circling numbers.
THE WOLF
Jimmie?
JIMMIE
Yes.
THE WOLF: WITHOUT LOOKING UP
Do me a favor, will ya? Thought I smelled some coffee in there. Would you make me a cup?
JIMMIE
Sure, how do you take it?
THE WOLF
Black, and don’t give me that flavored shit.
Jimmie exits. The Wolf continues his examination.
THE WOLF
About the company, is there anything I need to know? Does it pollute, are the books clean, any pending lawsuits, any PR problems, anything?
JULES
Aside from how it looks, the company’s cool.
THE WOLF: NOW PEERING OVER HIS GLASSES
Positive? Don't get me knee deep when I find out the CFO is porking the Purchasing manager. Shit won’t fly.
JULES
Hey man, as far as I know, the motherfucker's tip-top.
THE WOLF
Good enough, let's go to the boardroom.
INTERIOR: BOARDROOM – MORNING
Jimmie hands The Wolf a cup of coffee.
THE WOLF
Thank you, Jimmie.
He takes a sip, nods to Jimmie in satisfaction then, pacing as he thinks, lays out for the three men the plan of action.
THE WOLF
Okay first thing, you two.
(meaning Jules and Vincent)
Take a look at those defects. Root cause that shit, rework whats easy, throw the rest in the can. Now Jimmie, this looks to be a pretty underutilized company. That would lead me to believe that you have some smart and motivated people that you have been crapping on for years. Am I correct?
JIMMIE
Yeah. Exactly. They are all in hourly positions or temps without benefits.
THE WOLF
Good. What I need you two fellas to do is take those smart people and give me a few kaizen events and lean sigma projects. I'm talkin' fast, fast, fast. You need to go to the 6th sigma. Scoop up all those little defects. Get them out of there. 5S the entire shop floor. – now when it comes to 5S, it don't need to be 5.0, you don't need to be O’Ren Ishii on it. Give it a good once over. What you need to take care of are the really messy parts. The piles of inventory that have collected, you gotta minimize that WIP. But the productivity is a different story. This is where you really gotta make it count. Daddy don’t get paid by increasing costs with window dressings and rose bushes out front. You dig deep. Cut deep where it makes sense. Get the rapid action teams out there. Use some Kanbans, do some flow charting find the waste and trim that shit. Lean it out, do a good job. Now Jimmie, we need to raid your office supplies. I need flip charts, I need high lighters, I need pocket protectors, I need some glasses. The thicker the better, the darker the better. No Ray Bans, can't use 'em. I am talking some Tom Cruise type shit. We need to look good while we work. We’re gonna fix this company. If an auditor stops us and starts stickin' her big snout in the books, the subterfuge won't last. We can’t cover the past but at a glance, the company will appear to have been operating at world class performance for years.
Jimmie – lead the way, boys – get to work.
The Wolf and Jimmie turn, heading for the office, leaving Vincent and Jules standing in the boardroom.
VINCENT
(calling after him)
A "please" would be nice.
The Wolf stops and turns around. Removes his glasses.
THE WOLF
Come again?
VINCENT
I said a "please" would be nice.
The Wolf takes a step toward him.
THE WOLF
Get this straight, Buster. I'm not here to say "please."I'm here to tell you what to do. And if self- preservation is an instinct you possess, you better fuckin' do it and do it quick. I'm here to help. If my help's not appreciated, lotsa luck gentlemen.
JULES
It ain't that way, Mr. Wolf. Your help is definitely appreciated.
VINCENT
I don't mean any disrespect. I just don't like people barkin' orders at me.
THE WOLF
If I'm curt with you, it's because time is a factor. I think fast, I talk fast, and I need you guys to act fast if you want to get out of this. So pretty please, with sugar on top, fix the fuckin' company.
INTERIOR: JIMMIE'S OFFICE
Jimmie's gathering all the spreadsheets, flip charts, sticky pads and laser pointers he can find.
Jimmie comes over with an armful of useless color graphics.
JIMMIE
Mr. Wolf, you gotta understand somethin' –
THE WOLF
– Pierce, Jimmie – please, call me Pierce.
JIMMIE
You gotta understand something, Pierce. I want to help you guys out and all, but I have a vacation planned next week. I am going to the beach where I’ll pretend like I know how to play golf, get sunburned and have to be rescued from the rip tide by a burly 18 year old life guard who will flirt with my wife.
THE WOLF
– let me ask you a question, if you don't mind?
JIMMIE
Sure.
THE WOLF
Are you or your wife millionaires?
JIMMIE
No.
THE WOLF
Well, your Uncle Buffet is. And I'm positive if Mr. and Mrs. Jimmy can make this happen, your Uncle Buffet is more than happy to buy you one of the Greek Isles….its like a fire sale over there.
(takes out a roll of bills)
I like Crete myself, that's what I’m talking about. How 'bout you Jimmie, you a Crete man?
JIMMIE
Crete's nice.
INTERIOR: FACTORY FLOOR – 5 MONTHS LATER
The defects have been root caused, 5S is prevalent, continuous improvement is part of the culture, moral is up and the bathrooms have nice smelling soap, 2 ply paper and real hand towels. Believe it or not, what looked like a bargain basement hostile takeover target will now actually pass for a non-descript world class operation.
The Wolf walks the factory examining it.
Jules and Vincent stand aside, they look tired and worn, but they do have a sense of pride in what a good job they've done.
THE WOLF
Fine job, gentlemen. We may get out of this yet.
JIMMIE
I can't believe this is the same company.
THE WOLF
Well, let's not start suckin' each other's dicks quite yet. Phase one is complete, clean the company, which moves us right along to phase two, clean you two.
INTERIOR: MICRO CHIPS R’ US CAFETERIA – LUNCH HOUR
Jules and Vincent sit side by side nervous and uncomfortable amongst the “hourly”. They wear standard issue business jackets, white collar shirts, red ties and khaki pants. Jimmie holds a plastic hefty trash bag, while The Wolf stares down at the men. His glare piercing their arrogance.
THE WOLF
Strip.
VINCENT
Here? All the way?
THE WOLF
To your bare ass.
As they follow directions, The Wolf enjoys a swig of Jim Beam from a small flask.
THE WOLF
Quickly gentlemen, we got about fifteen minutes before lunch is over.
VINCENT
This aint what it looks like. I’m big boned.
JULES
Are you sure this is absolutely necessary?
THE WOLF
You know what you two look like?
VINCENT
What?
THE WOLF
Like a couple of pompous ass holes who nearly murdered a company. Yes, strippin' off those high faluttin’ rags is absolutely necessary. Toss the clothes in Jim's garbage bag.
VINCENT
Shits not cool man.
THE WOLF
I’ll tell you whats not cool. Putting yourself above the people in this company who really ring the cash register. Don’t give me this “cool” bull shit. You are not cool. You are here to serve these people who “do” the work. Listen to them, support them, know the jobs, know the people. Find freedom. Make love to your wife. Now, put these on. Jimmie.
Jimmie quickly hands the men some smart casual finished jeans, clean yet humble long sleeve, collared shirts with none of that flowery shit and simple yet classy black leather shoes.
THE WOLF
Okay gentlemen, the company is yours. My work here is done. Don’t fuck it up. The Wolf only visits once.
The Three men watch the wolf back off the steps in his FJ Cruiser and slowly drive away. A single bumper sticker is visible in blue and white letters. “AMERICA. FUCK YEAH!”
EXTERIOR: HISTORIC BAVARIAN CASTLE
The Wolf is opening the passenger side door of his FJ Cruiser. A long slender pair of legs clad in modest heels slowly emerge. They gain purchase on the ground and she appears in a spire of moonlight, spins toward him and places her left hand on the right lapel of his Tuxedo.
GERMAN HOTTIE – In sexy yet broken German accented English.
So what exactly do you do here?
THE WOLF
Babe, they call me the Wolf. Lets party.
END SCENE
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Over the hill
Its September...already? I have now been living in Holland for 4 months. It has taken me some time to get really "settled" but now I am finally feeling like part of the town. I can go out alone and run into people I know. I have figured out what roads to take, where to park, the good grocery stores, the bad restaurants, the singles bars and the kiddie bars. The town I am in becomes more and more strange. I now know how it feels for a Yankee to move to small southern town. Venlo is really a farming area and everyone here is from here. They have their own dialect. I have found most people to be very nice but they still are not as open to new people as most places I have lived.
Some more interesting things. They are really nice to bad people. Last night a "fat" and drunk guy was actually fighting with the bar tender behind the bar because he wouldn't serve him. Not that one way is better or worse but in the U.S. he would have been ass over tin cups out the door with a bouncer posted to make sure he didn't return. No one messes with the bar staff. Here, they lightly wrestled him to the ground, let him collect himself and then they are all shaking hands but the guy is still so drunk he can barely walk. Instead of tossing him, they let him hang out around the door. He tries to sit on the arm of a "wicker" chair in front of my table. I immediately identified the situation as disastrous. I snatched my beer from the table as the chair, bowing under the weight of his 250lbs slowly topples backwards. His feet went straight up, flip flop flopping off his foot, my table was immediately dislodged and the next two behind it on the patio. One girl was covered in beer, another got a bloody toe and multiple beers were now seeping into the cobble stones. Bar staff helps him up, cleans up the glass, offers no one new beers and lets the guy walk off who immediately walks into the next bar quickly followed by the sound of more breaking glass...classic.
Oh another thing..when stores here close, they close. I was trying on some clothes today at 5PM and the lady knocked on the door and said they were closing and I had to go. She took all of my merchandise and escorted me to the door. Seriously??? They treated the drunk guy who fought the staff and injured customers better than a paying customer....interesting.
So, now on to some better things. NORWAY!!!! It was awesome. By far the best place I have visited thus far. It is an effing expensive country. A beer was like $10. I had a hamburger for dinner with two beers and my tab was $54 converted. But....the country and the people are amazing. I visited some family in the south who live on an island. I really lucked out with fantastic weather. I never expected to be buying a swimsuit and getting sunburned. I spent my entire visit in a bathing suit, on boats, swimming in the fjords, kayaking and enjoying the splendors of 20hours of daylight. People were really friendly and I loved their greeting. Everyone you pass on the island (no cars, only bikes and walking) would say cheerfully, hi hi. It was really pleasant. I met some of my cousins who were awesome. We went Fjord climbing where we pulled the boat up to the bottom of a fjord wall, donned our climbing shoes and started scaling the walls until we either fell off into the fjord or found a small summit and jumped back down 10-15 meters into the Fjord...effing fantastic. My family there was also just amazing. They go from a short but amazing summer to a long dark and snowy winter with difficult challenges. They have one of these huge ski jumps in the backyard (like the ones in the olympics..seriously). In the winter they use kick sleds and shovel snow and chip ice out of their boat to get to the mainland. I am 1/8 Norwegian and am now proud to have visited the motherland and call myself part Viking. I even have a t-shirt to prove it.
The new manager started at work last week so I am starting to think about coming home. I have about 10 more weeks to train him and then I am headed home...but for what who knows. The company is offering me a few options all the way from Reno to Hong Kong but I just don't know...I'll wait to see what the offers really look like but I am not optimistic that they will surprise me. At least I know I have given them all I have for this assignment and achieved some great results. I'll give them a chance to keep me around.
For as much information that exists about America I find people here really know very little about our people and our culture. I try to make a difference one person at a time. I really love talking with them and understanding their culture. I am lucky to have this opportunity.
I miss everyone back home and hope to see you soon.
Pierce
Some more interesting things. They are really nice to bad people. Last night a "fat" and drunk guy was actually fighting with the bar tender behind the bar because he wouldn't serve him. Not that one way is better or worse but in the U.S. he would have been ass over tin cups out the door with a bouncer posted to make sure he didn't return. No one messes with the bar staff. Here, they lightly wrestled him to the ground, let him collect himself and then they are all shaking hands but the guy is still so drunk he can barely walk. Instead of tossing him, they let him hang out around the door. He tries to sit on the arm of a "wicker" chair in front of my table. I immediately identified the situation as disastrous. I snatched my beer from the table as the chair, bowing under the weight of his 250lbs slowly topples backwards. His feet went straight up, flip flop flopping off his foot, my table was immediately dislodged and the next two behind it on the patio. One girl was covered in beer, another got a bloody toe and multiple beers were now seeping into the cobble stones. Bar staff helps him up, cleans up the glass, offers no one new beers and lets the guy walk off who immediately walks into the next bar quickly followed by the sound of more breaking glass...classic.
Oh another thing..when stores here close, they close. I was trying on some clothes today at 5PM and the lady knocked on the door and said they were closing and I had to go. She took all of my merchandise and escorted me to the door. Seriously??? They treated the drunk guy who fought the staff and injured customers better than a paying customer....interesting.
So, now on to some better things. NORWAY!!!! It was awesome. By far the best place I have visited thus far. It is an effing expensive country. A beer was like $10. I had a hamburger for dinner with two beers and my tab was $54 converted. But....the country and the people are amazing. I visited some family in the south who live on an island. I really lucked out with fantastic weather. I never expected to be buying a swimsuit and getting sunburned. I spent my entire visit in a bathing suit, on boats, swimming in the fjords, kayaking and enjoying the splendors of 20hours of daylight. People were really friendly and I loved their greeting. Everyone you pass on the island (no cars, only bikes and walking) would say cheerfully, hi hi. It was really pleasant. I met some of my cousins who were awesome. We went Fjord climbing where we pulled the boat up to the bottom of a fjord wall, donned our climbing shoes and started scaling the walls until we either fell off into the fjord or found a small summit and jumped back down 10-15 meters into the Fjord...effing fantastic. My family there was also just amazing. They go from a short but amazing summer to a long dark and snowy winter with difficult challenges. They have one of these huge ski jumps in the backyard (like the ones in the olympics..seriously). In the winter they use kick sleds and shovel snow and chip ice out of their boat to get to the mainland. I am 1/8 Norwegian and am now proud to have visited the motherland and call myself part Viking. I even have a t-shirt to prove it. The new manager started at work last week so I am starting to think about coming home. I have about 10 more weeks to train him and then I am headed home...but for what who knows. The company is offering me a few options all the way from Reno to Hong Kong but I just don't know...I'll wait to see what the offers really look like but I am not optimistic that they will surprise me. At least I know I have given them all I have for this assignment and achieved some great results. I'll give them a chance to keep me around.
For as much information that exists about America I find people here really know very little about our people and our culture. I try to make a difference one person at a time. I really love talking with them and understanding their culture. I am lucky to have this opportunity.
I miss everyone back home and hope to see you soon.
Pierce
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
2.5 Months Deep
It is time for another glorious update. I have been keeping notes to be sure I can properly entertain you with my blogging. I mean really, I am doing this for you…that’s right…I am bringing you “Europe through beer goggles”.
I’ll start with some of my contact details. If you want to get hold of me, shoot me a line and I will send you all my info..I don't want to put my work number and work cell here but you can call me on skype at 540-551-5069 and text me at 267-390-4781. I have to be on wi fi for both but it is cheap. My personal cell is frozen and inactive.
Now on to some of the interesting things. Since my last blog I saw Maastricht which is cool but not much more than another town which I am learning is true about most towns here. Valkenburg was the same but smaller and older. I took a work trip to the UK which was a super success because I didn’t get run over by a car. Seriously, why doesn’t someone figure out which is the “best” side of the road to drive on and just make everyone do it. Effing brits are crazy drivers and they drive on the left..even the round a bouts are reversed..it is maddening. I really thought our taxi was one of those drivers ed cars when we got in. I will say that the girls in the UK win the slut award so far. Seriously, I don’t know how the girls kept their ass in some of those short skirts…its was like a miracle fabric or something we don’t have in Holland for sure. Girls here are much more conservative in my little town. Don't get me wrong..I love UK girls but they are easy to rib.
I tried to celebrate the 4th of July. I went on a mission looking for an American beer and a hamburger on a Monday night. After my 5th bar and as many Corona’s I gave up and settled for a shitty “fried” burger with fries and Mayo. Corona’s are very common….I have yet to find a single “light” beer…and not even close to a natural light. In fact, here is another disturbing factoid. You can’t find Solo cups ANYWHERE! I tried to teach some locals how to play flip cup and like 3 different people told me…we don’t drink out of plastic. I was dumb founded. How do their students get through college without leveraging the multiple levels of utility offered by solo cups? They play beer pong and keep “glasses” of the beer lined up beside the table. I did manage to find the only bar in Holland which has a relationship with the world series of beer pong and will be sending their champion team to Las Vegas in January to compete for the world title. I spent all last Saturday cleaning up the locals.
The women's world cup was happening in Germany. I saw the thriller against Brazil on TV and checked the schedule to see that the semi-final vs France was basically in my backyard…20 kilometers from my town. I bought two tix for 200 Euroes and took a friend from work. It was rainy but a good time. Lots of Americans were there but no really good stories here..just another game and a disappointing final. Good job Japan..you deserved it.
Some other interesting factoids:
People don’t “Volunteer” here..their taxes support the poor
Many public restrooms charge to use the facilities
People are not bashful…cleaning staff will clean the bathroom while you are shaking it off
My new Asics cost me $170
They always serve beer in its branded glass….only its brand.
Everyone smokes and I swear it is an if you can’t beat em, join em culture.
I went shopping for some new clothes. I wanted some Dutch, german or even Italian clothes. Nearly everything had writing and logos, all of which were in English.
Wine is many times cheaper than beer
Holland is famous for Heineken but none here drinks the stuff
The girls are young and I can still make it happen!
Norway is next up. I will be visiting some extended family and sight seeing this Thursday to Sunday and then a work trip Monday to Thursday. Thats it for now. I owe you some more pictures and will work on that next.
I’ll start with some of my contact details. If you want to get hold of me, shoot me a line and I will send you all my info..I don't want to put my work number and work cell here but you can call me on skype at 540-551-5069 and text me at 267-390-4781. I have to be on wi fi for both but it is cheap. My personal cell is frozen and inactive.
Now on to some of the interesting things. Since my last blog I saw Maastricht which is cool but not much more than another town which I am learning is true about most towns here. Valkenburg was the same but smaller and older. I took a work trip to the UK which was a super success because I didn’t get run over by a car. Seriously, why doesn’t someone figure out which is the “best” side of the road to drive on and just make everyone do it. Effing brits are crazy drivers and they drive on the left..even the round a bouts are reversed..it is maddening. I really thought our taxi was one of those drivers ed cars when we got in. I will say that the girls in the UK win the slut award so far. Seriously, I don’t know how the girls kept their ass in some of those short skirts…its was like a miracle fabric or something we don’t have in Holland for sure. Girls here are much more conservative in my little town. Don't get me wrong..I love UK girls but they are easy to rib.
I tried to celebrate the 4th of July. I went on a mission looking for an American beer and a hamburger on a Monday night. After my 5th bar and as many Corona’s I gave up and settled for a shitty “fried” burger with fries and Mayo. Corona’s are very common….I have yet to find a single “light” beer…and not even close to a natural light. In fact, here is another disturbing factoid. You can’t find Solo cups ANYWHERE! I tried to teach some locals how to play flip cup and like 3 different people told me…we don’t drink out of plastic. I was dumb founded. How do their students get through college without leveraging the multiple levels of utility offered by solo cups? They play beer pong and keep “glasses” of the beer lined up beside the table. I did manage to find the only bar in Holland which has a relationship with the world series of beer pong and will be sending their champion team to Las Vegas in January to compete for the world title. I spent all last Saturday cleaning up the locals.
The women's world cup was happening in Germany. I saw the thriller against Brazil on TV and checked the schedule to see that the semi-final vs France was basically in my backyard…20 kilometers from my town. I bought two tix for 200 Euroes and took a friend from work. It was rainy but a good time. Lots of Americans were there but no really good stories here..just another game and a disappointing final. Good job Japan..you deserved it.
Some other interesting factoids:
People don’t “Volunteer” here..their taxes support the poor
Many public restrooms charge to use the facilities
People are not bashful…cleaning staff will clean the bathroom while you are shaking it off
My new Asics cost me $170
They always serve beer in its branded glass….only its brand.
Everyone smokes and I swear it is an if you can’t beat em, join em culture.
I went shopping for some new clothes. I wanted some Dutch, german or even Italian clothes. Nearly everything had writing and logos, all of which were in English.
Wine is many times cheaper than beer
Holland is famous for Heineken but none here drinks the stuff
The girls are young and I can still make it happen!
Norway is next up. I will be visiting some extended family and sight seeing this Thursday to Sunday and then a work trip Monday to Thursday. Thats it for now. I owe you some more pictures and will work on that next.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Pictures
Here is an album with some pics so far. My newest discovery is included. I was walking through downtown on my way home last night and noticed a new, large item in the walkway which I had not noticed before. It looked like it had popped up from the ground and what do you know..that is exactly what it did. I had to get a little too close for comfort to determine that yes..indeed..these were pop up mens urinals. It was a big cylinder about 6' in diameter and had three stand up pee spots....yes you were basically exposed doing your business...but very efficent.
 |
| Holland....the beginning |
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Belgium, Paris, Luxembourg, Germany
Well, it has been a very busy week for me. I have a colleague from the States in town. She had never been to Europe and I was in need of a travel partner. This made for many jokes at my expense because her Husband will surely punch me in the adams apple when I return to Tahoe. I worked last Saturday but had a bank holiday on Monday and this Saturday was the first since February without the need for OT. So...here is the travelogue.
Sunday, we drive to Belgium. First stop is Ghent for a Harley Davidson t-shirt for Julie. They were having a rally...we were the only people in the store not wearing leather. Next stop was Brugges with its small streets, narrow canals, chocolate shops and waffle stands. We took a canal tour bought some chocolate and headed to Antwerp. In Antwerp we found an amazing carnival and let me tell you what. They do carnivals in Europe like we "used" to do in the states. Seriously, I think they shipped all of the "legal liability" rides over here..turns out that these are the most fun. Seriously, they might have a few people loose a finger but they don't let it stand in the way of fun. We rode tons of rides, some of them "upside down rides", had some cotton candy, beers and then pounded out the 1.5 hour drive back to Venlo. Antwerp was a great city. I will be going back. It is much different than Amsterdam but both are fantastic. Monday, we took the train to Dusseldorf for a walk along the river and some good beer drinking. My developing beer gut is certainly courtesy of the beer, fried food and long work hours. I will be finding some more time for running next week! But speaking of this, I am now cracking another beer. Its from "Palm" which is a nice amber Belgian beer. I must note that their bottles here are more substantial than ours (they re-use them) but it is a difficult transition because of the weight difference. I always expect to have a few slugs left but the extra weight of the thicker glass leaves me tipping the bottle further and further with my only reward being dissatisfaction. This post is just getting started.
I shall digress for a moment. I have now had some time to see Paris, Amsterdam, Belgium, Germany and Luxembourg. I love getting back to Holland. Seriously, the Dutch have a pretty good handle on the good life. I love the bikes everywhere and street side cafes. I like watching people try to strap a bag of potato chips to a bike rack and girls in short skirts rolling through the mall on their way to a night of revelry. I like that I can wear to Jeans to work every day and it isn't breaking the rules. I like that the lawyers don't run everything. No one wears helmets, kids can play free, no one worries about germs, people live life freely and openly. We say that America is about freedom but we seem to loose little bits of freedom every day. Libertarians...Unite!
Now back to the travel. We put in a hard week at work with more progress. On time delivery is up and overtime is down. We were rewarded with Saturday off. Julie and I took off for Paris with nothing but the car and a hotel reservation. We checked into the airport Hilton and headed into the city on the Metro. We started at Notre Dame and our impeccably good timing begins. We wait in line for 20 minutes and literally, 5 seconds after the downpour begins we enter the church....perfect. I am a big promoter of "once you see a church in Europe, you have seen all of the churches in Europe" So for Julie she at least say one of the best. Blah blah balh..yes it was nice. The crepe afterwards was better. We next walked to the Louvre, didn't go in but the outside is amazing too and going in....well lets just say that you could spend 4 days in there and not be complete. So we kept walking through the gardens of the Louvre. Unbeknownst to me, these are the same gardens where my mother spent an entire day drinking wine and eating french bread with a friend rather than seeing Paris on her visit decades ago.....so that is where I get it from!!!!!
We continued to the Champs Elyeses and began walking to the Arc de Triumph. I was imagining the Tour de France riders streaking past when we saw what was seriously the most ridiculous Ambercrombie and Fitch store in the world...or least in Paris. I could not believe it. I saw these huge gates on the street, with a long alley of ivy covered walls behind and a bunch of frat looking boys guarding both sides of the gate. I stopped and joked that it was some prep-school fraternity private party. And then I smelled the distinct aroma of the A&F cologne. There was an effing line to enter the gold crusted gates of the Paris A&F store. I threw up in the nearest trash can, walked into the store and bough an XXL t-shirt which turned out to be too small for me. We finally make it to the arch which was..i must say...bigger than I expected. Blah blah blah, we enjoyed it magnificence and started our walk of triumph to the Eiffel tower.
This was a fantastic sight. For what is essentially a useless structure, it is a magnificent sight. We walked under, used the rest rooms and decided it was dinner time....and wine time...and cheese time. We grabbed a touristy motorcycle cab and asked to be taken back to the Champs Elyses. We jumped out half way there to find some nice places on the side streets. We started a wine crawl enjoying wine and cheese plates as we worked out way through the back streets. The Eiffel Tower is really magnificent at night. We took a late night cab back to the hotel.
Wow...am I still typing....almost done. Today (Sunday) we decided to bail on the big city of Paris (checked the box) and head for some smaller towns. We decided to explore Luxembourg and its mysterious valleys and Castles. This is a beautiful country. For being very small it had much to offer. There were many picturesque rolling fields eliciting memories of Tour de France TV coverage and amazing valleys with huge castles perched on towering hills. We stopped in Vianden for dinner, ice cream and coffee. We had some nice quiche and the strangest dish I have come across yet....Halved tomatoes, topped with raw baby shrimp, basil and mayonnaise. Its like a blind person was working in the kitchen. The day was getting late and I had already run about 100 Euros through my company gas card so it was time to head back to Holland. I dropped a deuce in Luxembourg and we started off. We did this via the autobahn where my little 4 cylinder just eeked out 100mph. Seriously, the last 1mph was in doubt...Julie was not comfortable with this scenario so I pulled her back to a steady 80mph. We were still getting passed. Which brings me to another digression. On our two day trip, we saw 6 Ferrari's, 2 Lamborghini's, at least 4 Maserati's and some other exotic car that I couldn't recognize. The Euro is way too strong people, its time to bring the Dollar back! Libertarians Unite!...did I say that already...opps....how about AMERICA!
Ok...wow, my fingers hurt and my beer is getting warm. I am going to bed. Next on my list is a trip to Denmark and maybe Norway...stay tuned.
Sunday, we drive to Belgium. First stop is Ghent for a Harley Davidson t-shirt for Julie. They were having a rally...we were the only people in the store not wearing leather. Next stop was Brugges with its small streets, narrow canals, chocolate shops and waffle stands. We took a canal tour bought some chocolate and headed to Antwerp. In Antwerp we found an amazing carnival and let me tell you what. They do carnivals in Europe like we "used" to do in the states. Seriously, I think they shipped all of the "legal liability" rides over here..turns out that these are the most fun. Seriously, they might have a few people loose a finger but they don't let it stand in the way of fun. We rode tons of rides, some of them "upside down rides", had some cotton candy, beers and then pounded out the 1.5 hour drive back to Venlo. Antwerp was a great city. I will be going back. It is much different than Amsterdam but both are fantastic. Monday, we took the train to Dusseldorf for a walk along the river and some good beer drinking. My developing beer gut is certainly courtesy of the beer, fried food and long work hours. I will be finding some more time for running next week! But speaking of this, I am now cracking another beer. Its from "Palm" which is a nice amber Belgian beer. I must note that their bottles here are more substantial than ours (they re-use them) but it is a difficult transition because of the weight difference. I always expect to have a few slugs left but the extra weight of the thicker glass leaves me tipping the bottle further and further with my only reward being dissatisfaction. This post is just getting started.
I shall digress for a moment. I have now had some time to see Paris, Amsterdam, Belgium, Germany and Luxembourg. I love getting back to Holland. Seriously, the Dutch have a pretty good handle on the good life. I love the bikes everywhere and street side cafes. I like watching people try to strap a bag of potato chips to a bike rack and girls in short skirts rolling through the mall on their way to a night of revelry. I like that I can wear to Jeans to work every day and it isn't breaking the rules. I like that the lawyers don't run everything. No one wears helmets, kids can play free, no one worries about germs, people live life freely and openly. We say that America is about freedom but we seem to loose little bits of freedom every day. Libertarians...Unite!
Now back to the travel. We put in a hard week at work with more progress. On time delivery is up and overtime is down. We were rewarded with Saturday off. Julie and I took off for Paris with nothing but the car and a hotel reservation. We checked into the airport Hilton and headed into the city on the Metro. We started at Notre Dame and our impeccably good timing begins. We wait in line for 20 minutes and literally, 5 seconds after the downpour begins we enter the church....perfect. I am a big promoter of "once you see a church in Europe, you have seen all of the churches in Europe" So for Julie she at least say one of the best. Blah blah balh..yes it was nice. The crepe afterwards was better. We next walked to the Louvre, didn't go in but the outside is amazing too and going in....well lets just say that you could spend 4 days in there and not be complete. So we kept walking through the gardens of the Louvre. Unbeknownst to me, these are the same gardens where my mother spent an entire day drinking wine and eating french bread with a friend rather than seeing Paris on her visit decades ago.....so that is where I get it from!!!!!
We continued to the Champs Elyeses and began walking to the Arc de Triumph. I was imagining the Tour de France riders streaking past when we saw what was seriously the most ridiculous Ambercrombie and Fitch store in the world...or least in Paris. I could not believe it. I saw these huge gates on the street, with a long alley of ivy covered walls behind and a bunch of frat looking boys guarding both sides of the gate. I stopped and joked that it was some prep-school fraternity private party. And then I smelled the distinct aroma of the A&F cologne. There was an effing line to enter the gold crusted gates of the Paris A&F store. I threw up in the nearest trash can, walked into the store and bough an XXL t-shirt which turned out to be too small for me. We finally make it to the arch which was..i must say...bigger than I expected. Blah blah blah, we enjoyed it magnificence and started our walk of triumph to the Eiffel tower.
This was a fantastic sight. For what is essentially a useless structure, it is a magnificent sight. We walked under, used the rest rooms and decided it was dinner time....and wine time...and cheese time. We grabbed a touristy motorcycle cab and asked to be taken back to the Champs Elyses. We jumped out half way there to find some nice places on the side streets. We started a wine crawl enjoying wine and cheese plates as we worked out way through the back streets. The Eiffel Tower is really magnificent at night. We took a late night cab back to the hotel.
Wow...am I still typing....almost done. Today (Sunday) we decided to bail on the big city of Paris (checked the box) and head for some smaller towns. We decided to explore Luxembourg and its mysterious valleys and Castles. This is a beautiful country. For being very small it had much to offer. There were many picturesque rolling fields eliciting memories of Tour de France TV coverage and amazing valleys with huge castles perched on towering hills. We stopped in Vianden for dinner, ice cream and coffee. We had some nice quiche and the strangest dish I have come across yet....Halved tomatoes, topped with raw baby shrimp, basil and mayonnaise. Its like a blind person was working in the kitchen. The day was getting late and I had already run about 100 Euros through my company gas card so it was time to head back to Holland. I dropped a deuce in Luxembourg and we started off. We did this via the autobahn where my little 4 cylinder just eeked out 100mph. Seriously, the last 1mph was in doubt...Julie was not comfortable with this scenario so I pulled her back to a steady 80mph. We were still getting passed. Which brings me to another digression. On our two day trip, we saw 6 Ferrari's, 2 Lamborghini's, at least 4 Maserati's and some other exotic car that I couldn't recognize. The Euro is way too strong people, its time to bring the Dollar back! Libertarians Unite!...did I say that already...opps....how about AMERICA!
Ok...wow, my fingers hurt and my beer is getting warm. I am going to bed. Next on my list is a trip to Denmark and maybe Norway...stay tuned.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Holland....the beginning
Well well well. I just read my previous post. Its funny how life moves along. I have found a new adventure right on time. I can't seem to stick in any one place for longer than 1-2 years. I was around 1.5 years in Tahoe. In my last post you learned that I took a low stress IE job in Reno. I really just wanted to work 8-5 and not take anything home. No laptop, no blackberry just a commute and a paycheck. Well, here I am 1 year. I have a new laptop, a blackberry on the way and an all expenses paid 6 months in Holland to run and fix their semiconductor programming operations in Venlo, the Netherlands. It was an adventure I simply could not pass up. They got me a nice apartment in downtown, a car and huge responsibilities.
I must say that Dutch are quite the hospitable crowd. They have made me feel very much at home. Many have gone out of their way to help me get settled in. Strangers on the trains have helped out without being asked and pretty much everyone speaks english...some very well. The town is big enough but nowhere near the size of a big city. I have already arranged two bicycles for myself and am covering many kilometers when I have time. It is nearly flat everywhere so one ride for hours and not get tired.
Hmmmm....what can I tell you about my little town. I covered the people. They are fantastic. The Dutch are very tall. Everyone seems to smoke. Everyone rides a bike...and I mean everyone. Their bike lanes are like roads. They have their own traffic lights and everything. My town has very little diversity. Mostly white bread with a little turkish sprinkled in. The food is pretty bad. I have no idea how everyone here is not obese. Everything is fried, comes with Mayo and cheese. No one eats real vegetables and everything is carb heavy. I think a vegetarian would starve to death.
There are no discos nor sports bars in my town. People watch the football games at home. There are many pubs but they are mostly dark, narrow places with a nice patio on the mall or front street. Stores close early. Monday to Thursday and Friday they close at 5. Thursday and Saturday they are open till 9. It is quite a contrast to our culture of capitalism. I will have much to write about that in future posts.
My town is on the border with Germany. We have a mix of people and languages. A lot of German, Polish and Dutch all in the same town. I am...so far...the only American. I have met a few English but not one american. I can't even find the power adapters for our appliances.
I have not yet had any time to make friends. Work has basically consumed me. It has been 14 hour days 6 days a week and there are always visitors in town who I end up going to dinner with. I have not had the time to excersize like I normally enjoy...speaking of that....I am going to cut this short and go for a job before it gets dark.
I miss the good ol' USofA but am enjoying it here a lot. I'll write more later. I have tons of things I need to get down so I can share it all and remember it later.
Pierce
I must say that Dutch are quite the hospitable crowd. They have made me feel very much at home. Many have gone out of their way to help me get settled in. Strangers on the trains have helped out without being asked and pretty much everyone speaks english...some very well. The town is big enough but nowhere near the size of a big city. I have already arranged two bicycles for myself and am covering many kilometers when I have time. It is nearly flat everywhere so one ride for hours and not get tired.
Hmmmm....what can I tell you about my little town. I covered the people. They are fantastic. The Dutch are very tall. Everyone seems to smoke. Everyone rides a bike...and I mean everyone. Their bike lanes are like roads. They have their own traffic lights and everything. My town has very little diversity. Mostly white bread with a little turkish sprinkled in. The food is pretty bad. I have no idea how everyone here is not obese. Everything is fried, comes with Mayo and cheese. No one eats real vegetables and everything is carb heavy. I think a vegetarian would starve to death.
There are no discos nor sports bars in my town. People watch the football games at home. There are many pubs but they are mostly dark, narrow places with a nice patio on the mall or front street. Stores close early. Monday to Thursday and Friday they close at 5. Thursday and Saturday they are open till 9. It is quite a contrast to our culture of capitalism. I will have much to write about that in future posts.
My town is on the border with Germany. We have a mix of people and languages. A lot of German, Polish and Dutch all in the same town. I am...so far...the only American. I have met a few English but not one american. I can't even find the power adapters for our appliances.
I have not yet had any time to make friends. Work has basically consumed me. It has been 14 hour days 6 days a week and there are always visitors in town who I end up going to dinner with. I have not had the time to excersize like I normally enjoy...speaking of that....I am going to cut this short and go for a job before it gets dark.
I miss the good ol' USofA but am enjoying it here a lot. I'll write more later. I have tons of things I need to get down so I can share it all and remember it later.
Pierce
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