The Wolf

As many of you know and "experienced". I was back East Coast last week. About a dozen people asked me. "What do you do anyway?". I awoke from a hangover induced sleep on the plane home with one line in my head. "I'm Winston Wolf. I solve Problems." I've worked for two companies helping to fix 8 businesses over 10 years. I solve problems. So I took the Pulp Fiction cue, heavily plagiarized and developed my screenplay below. I took absolutely no liberties. This story is exactly as it happens for me. For those interested in the scene from the movie. Watch it here: My story ends at about 10:00.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DO0d7dpA-K8


BEGIN SCREENPLAY: THE WOLF

INTERIOR. WARREN BUFFET’S (Marcellus Wallace) DINING ROOM – MORNING

Warren Buffet (Marcellus Wallace) sits at his dining table in a big comfy
robe, eating his large breakfast, while talking on the phone.

BUFFET
...well, say Wall Street finds out. Whaddya think they'll do?
(pause)
No fuckin' shit they'll freak. That ain't no kinda answer.

INTERIOR. CUSTOMER SITE – MORNING

Jules paces around in the General Managers office on the phone.

JULES
You got to appreciate what an explosive situation this is. If Wall Street figures out we have a bunch of idiots doin' a bunch of moronic shit in this factory, ain't no tellin' what the bitches are apt to do.

BUFFET
I've grasped that, Jules. All I'm doin' is contemplating the "ifs."

JULES
I don't wanna hear about no motherfuckin' "ifs."What I wanna hear from your ass is: "you ain't got no problems, Jules. I'm on the motherfucker. Go back in there, chill them white boys out and wait for the cavalry, which should be comin' directly."

BUFFET
You ain't got no problems, Jules. I'm on the motherfucker. Go back in there, chill them white boys out and wait for The Wolf, who should be comin' directly.

JULES
You sendin' The Wolf?

BUFFET
Feel better?

JULES
Shit Cracker, that's all you had to say.

INTERIOR. APRES SKI LOUNGE – MORNING

The CAMERA looks through the front doorway of a Squaw Valley après ski hot spot. We SEE a group of popped collar spring breakers shooting Jager bombs from crystal goblets. A man in a tuxedo leans on the bar ordering a scotch whiskey on the rocks while stroking the mink fur coat of his immaculate arm candy of a girlfriend. The CAMERA PANS to the right revealing:
Sitting in an Adirondack chair on the deck, phone in hand with his back to us, the vintage 80’s jumpsuit clad Pierce Plumly aka "THE WOLF". We also see The Wolf has a small book that he jots details in.

THE WOLF
(into phone)
Is this front page stuff?
(pause)
How long?
(jotting down)
Give me the principals' names again?
(jots down)
Jules...

We SEE his book. The page has written on it:

"Venlo, The Netherlands” 1 dying business (no head)
Bloody shot-up manager Jules (White Boy)
6 months (Audit)"

THE WOLF
...Vincent... Jimmie... Bonnie….

HE WRITES:

"Jimmy(CEO) Jules(GM) Vincent(VP) Micro Chips R Us (Company) Bonnie (auditor)"

THE WOLF
Expect a call around 10:30. It's about 14 hours away. I'll be there in five.

He hangs up. We never see his face but assume he has sideburns and is wearing aviator sun glasses.

CUT TO:

TITLE CARD OVER BLACK: "FOUR HOURS AND THIRTY-SEVEN MINUTES LATER"

CUT TO:

EXTERIOR. MICRO CHIPS R’ US STREET – MORNING

A White Fj Cruiser WHIPS the corner leading to Micro Chips R Us,
in OVER DRIVE. Its 33” tires jumping the curb and parking half way up the stairs to the front entrance.

INTERIOR. MICRO CHIPS R’ US – MORNING

Jimmie opens the door. We see, standing in the doorway, the now Jeans and t-shirt clad man. He peers through his aviators down to his notebook, then up at Jimmie.

THE WOLF
You're Jimmie, right? This is your company?

JIMMIE
Yeah.

THE WOLF
(sticks his hand out)
I'm Pierce Plumly, I solve problems.

JIMMIE
Good, 'cause we got some.

THE WOLF
So I heard. May I come in?

JIMMIE
Please do.

In the reception area, Jules and Vincent stand up.

THE WOLF
You must be Jules, which would make you Vincent. Let's get down to brass tacks, gentlemen. If I was informed correctly, the clock is ticking, is
that right, Jimmie?

JIMMIE
100%.

THE WOLF
The auditor, Bonnie...
(refers to his pad)
...arrives in six months, is that correct?

JIMMIE
Uh-huh.

THE WOLF
I was led to believe if she arrives and finds this fuck hole of a company she wouldn't appreciate it none too much.

JIMMIE
She won't at that.

THE WOLF
That gives us 180 days to get this out house looking like a throne fit for Marilyn Monroe, which, if you do what I say when I say it, should be plenty. Now you got defects, falling profits, low moral, shitty productivity and are crapping out customers faster than Michael Moore can eat a 12” kielbasa. Am I right? Jimmie?

JIMMIE
You’re the Wolf.

INTERIOR: JIMMIE'S OFFICE – MORNING

The three men hang back as The Wolf examines the books. He studies them in silence, flipping pages, stabbing a calculator, circling numbers.

THE WOLF
Jimmie?

JIMMIE
Yes.

THE WOLF: WITHOUT LOOKING UP

Do me a favor, will ya? Thought I smelled some coffee in there. Would you make me a cup?

JIMMIE
Sure, how do you take it?

THE WOLF
Black, and don’t give me that flavored shit.

Jimmie exits. The Wolf continues his examination.

THE WOLF
About the company, is there anything I need to know? Does it pollute, are the books clean, any pending lawsuits, any PR problems, anything?

JULES
Aside from how it looks, the company’s cool.

THE WOLF: NOW PEERING OVER HIS GLASSES
Positive? Don't get me knee deep when I find out the CFO is porking the Purchasing manager. Shit won’t fly.

JULES
Hey man, as far as I know, the motherfucker's tip-top.

THE WOLF
Good enough, let's go to the boardroom.

INTERIOR: BOARDROOM – MORNING

Jimmie hands The Wolf a cup of coffee.

THE WOLF
Thank you, Jimmie.

He takes a sip, nods to Jimmie in satisfaction then, pacing as he thinks, lays out for the three men the plan of action.

THE WOLF
Okay first thing, you two.
(meaning Jules and Vincent)
Take a look at those defects. Root cause that shit, rework whats easy, throw the rest in the can. Now Jimmie, this looks to be a pretty underutilized company. That would lead me to believe that you have some smart and motivated people that you have been crapping on for years. Am I correct?

JIMMIE
Yeah. Exactly. They are all in hourly positions or temps without benefits.

THE WOLF
Good. What I need you two fellas to do is take those smart people and give me a few kaizen events and lean sigma projects. I'm talkin' fast, fast, fast. You need to go to the 6th sigma. Scoop up all those little defects. Get them out of there. 5S the entire shop floor. – now when it comes to 5S, it don't need to be 5.0, you don't need to be O’Ren Ishii on it. Give it a good once over. What you need to take care of are the really messy parts. The piles of inventory that have collected, you gotta minimize that WIP. But the productivity is a different story. This is where you really gotta make it count. Daddy don’t get paid by increasing costs with window dressings and rose bushes out front. You dig deep. Cut deep where it makes sense. Get the rapid action teams out there. Use some Kanbans, do some flow charting find the waste and trim that shit. Lean it out, do a good job. Now Jimmie, we need to raid your office supplies. I need flip charts, I need high lighters, I need pocket protectors, I need some glasses. The thicker the better, the darker the better. No Ray Bans, can't use 'em. I am talking some Tom Cruise type shit. We need to look good while we work. We’re gonna fix this company. If an auditor stops us and starts stickin' her big snout in the books, the subterfuge won't last. We can’t cover the past but at a glance, the company will appear to have been operating at world class performance for years.
Jimmie – lead the way, boys – get to work.

The Wolf and Jimmie turn, heading for the office, leaving Vincent and Jules standing in the boardroom.

VINCENT
(calling after him)
A "please" would be nice.

The Wolf stops and turns around. Removes his glasses.

THE WOLF
Come again?

VINCENT
I said a "please" would be nice.

The Wolf takes a step toward him.

THE WOLF
Get this straight, Buster. I'm not here to say "please."I'm here to tell you what to do. And if self- preservation is an instinct you possess, you better fuckin' do it and do it quick. I'm here to help. If my help's not appreciated, lotsa luck gentlemen.

JULES
It ain't that way, Mr. Wolf. Your help is definitely appreciated.

VINCENT
I don't mean any disrespect. I just don't like people barkin' orders at me.

THE WOLF
If I'm curt with you, it's because time is a factor. I think fast, I talk fast, and I need you guys to act fast if you want to get out of this. So pretty please, with sugar on top, fix the fuckin' company.

INTERIOR: JIMMIE'S OFFICE

Jimmie's gathering all the spreadsheets, flip charts, sticky pads and laser pointers he can find.

Jimmie comes over with an armful of useless color graphics.

JIMMIE
Mr. Wolf, you gotta understand somethin' –

THE WOLF
– Pierce, Jimmie – please, call me Pierce.

JIMMIE
You gotta understand something, Pierce. I want to help you guys out and all, but I have a vacation planned next week. I am going to the beach where I’ll pretend like I know how to play golf, get sunburned and have to be rescued from the rip tide by a burly 18 year old life guard who will flirt with my wife.

THE WOLF
– let me ask you a question, if you don't mind?

JIMMIE
Sure.

THE WOLF
Are you or your wife millionaires?

JIMMIE
No.

THE WOLF
Well, your Uncle Buffet is. And I'm positive if Mr. and Mrs. Jimmy can make this happen, your Uncle Buffet is more than happy to buy you one of the Greek Isles….its like a fire sale over there.
(takes out a roll of bills)
I like Crete myself, that's what I’m talking about. How 'bout you Jimmie, you a Crete man?

JIMMIE
Crete's nice.

INTERIOR: FACTORY FLOOR – 5 MONTHS LATER

The defects have been root caused, 5S is prevalent, continuous improvement is part of the culture, moral is up and the bathrooms have nice smelling soap, 2 ply paper and real hand towels. Believe it or not, what looked like a bargain basement hostile takeover target will now actually pass for a non-descript world class operation.

The Wolf walks the factory examining it.

Jules and Vincent stand aside, they look tired and worn, but they do have a sense of pride in what a good job they've done.

THE WOLF
Fine job, gentlemen. We may get out of this yet.

JIMMIE
I can't believe this is the same company.

THE WOLF
Well, let's not start suckin' each other's dicks quite yet. Phase one is complete, clean the company, which moves us right along to phase two, clean you two.

INTERIOR: MICRO CHIPS R’ US CAFETERIA – LUNCH HOUR

Jules and Vincent sit side by side nervous and uncomfortable amongst the “hourly”. They wear standard issue business jackets, white collar shirts, red ties and khaki pants. Jimmie holds a plastic hefty trash bag, while The Wolf stares down at the men. His glare piercing their arrogance.

THE WOLF
Strip.

VINCENT
Here? All the way?

THE WOLF
To your bare ass.

As they follow directions, The Wolf enjoys a swig of Jim Beam from a small flask.

THE WOLF
Quickly gentlemen, we got about fifteen minutes before lunch is over.

VINCENT
This aint what it looks like. I’m big boned.

JULES
Are you sure this is absolutely necessary?

THE WOLF
You know what you two look like?

VINCENT
What?

THE WOLF
Like a couple of pompous ass holes who nearly murdered a company. Yes, strippin' off those high faluttin’ rags is absolutely necessary. Toss the clothes in Jim's garbage bag.

VINCENT
Shits not cool man.

THE WOLF
I’ll tell you whats not cool. Putting yourself above the people in this company who really ring the cash register. Don’t give me this “cool” bull shit. You are not cool. You are here to serve these people who “do” the work. Listen to them, support them, know the jobs, know the people. Find freedom. Make love to your wife. Now, put these on. Jimmie.

Jimmie quickly hands the men some smart casual finished jeans, clean yet humble long sleeve, collared shirts with none of that flowery shit and simple yet classy black leather shoes.

THE WOLF
Okay gentlemen, the company is yours. My work here is done. Don’t fuck it up. The Wolf only visits once.

The Three men watch the wolf back off the steps in his FJ Cruiser and slowly drive away. A single bumper sticker is visible in blue and white letters. “AMERICA. FUCK YEAH!”

EXTERIOR: HISTORIC BAVARIAN CASTLE

The Wolf is opening the passenger side door of his FJ Cruiser. A long slender pair of legs clad in modest heels slowly emerge. They gain purchase on the ground and she appears in a spire of moonlight, spins toward him and places her left hand on the right lapel of his Tuxedo.

GERMAN HOTTIE – In sexy yet broken German accented English.
So what exactly do you do here?

THE WOLF
Babe, they call me the Wolf. Lets party.

END SCENE